I am waiting to see how much my racist friends pay me for cat sitting.  They’re in Bible study right now.  I spent much too of my teeny budget on towing and repairing my stupid car and will not be sending their money to victims of Pakistan’s flooding.  I will be buying my cat cat food and my car car food.  Dang.

Yesterday the pastor was telling me why he wouldn’t be in the office Friday.  He started to tell me what medical procedure he was going in for but took a breath and said “it’s a, um, doctor’s appointment.”  I’m so proud.  Somebody bring that man a bagel.

My mom bought her dress for my sister’s wedding.  I spent literally 45 minutes last night answering her “do I look too fat?”s.  I’m still fairly annoyed by that.  One shouldn’t grow up and blame one’s parents for problems.  But seriously?  I’ve spent, literally, the past twenty years trying to keep what I like to describe as a few bad habits, foodwise, on the right side of crazy.  Thanks, Mom, for passing along your incredibly fuckedup body image.  I really appreciate that.

Last night I invented what may be the world’s greatest cocktail: prune juice and rum.  I love prune juice.  I am not unfond of rum.  But the combination is truly delectable.

I’m cleaning out my hard drive today.  Back to it.