I just transferred a call to the pastor. The caller, after speaking to him, needed to say something to me. I was in another part of the church and attempted to answer on the extension. For some reason, I was unable to retrieve the call, so I dashed to my office and tried again. The pastor finally said that perhaps I should try his phone. I put her on hold in here, he said. I picked up the receiver–which he’d laid on his desktop–and discovered the caller was still on the line. I spoke to her and then addressed the pastor.

Did you know the call wasn’t on hold?

Sure she was.

She wasn’t.

I thought I put her on hold.

What did you do?

I asked her to hold and then laid the phone down and went and got you.

Then you didn’t put her on hold. You just laid down the phone.

Then how do you put people on hold?

By pressing the hold button.

I don’t know how to do that, I guess.

See this bright orange button? The one that says hold and is twice as big as the others? To put people on hold, you press that hold button.

Oh. Why didn’t I know that?

I didn’t, oh gentle reader, say “because you’re apparently a bigger moron than even I had suspected.” But I certainly thought it.