I am sorely tempted to tape my completely completed four page to do list on my office door. And maybe take a sharpie and write across it this is what I get done in a week, so give me some fucking money. I finished everything on my list. Everything. And I only stayed one half hour extra today and two hours extra yesterday.

The past several days I’ve done a few things I am not authorized to do. I get drunk with power when I’m productive. The pastor’s wife kindly takes charge over the eats and drinks we have out on Sunday mornings. She’s a sweet woman, a sweet woman who doesn’t know a thing about food preservation. She’s been setting out the same bowl of tortilla chips every Sunday for a month. The chips have been stored in that bowl, under a loose sheet of Saran wrap, since July. The chips are spectacularly stale.  I “accidentally” tipped them into the trash early this week.

Last week I raided the church library. There are some really terrible books in there. I took them and exchanged them for good ones at a used book store that specializes in Christian books. I know that “terrible” can be subjective, so let me demonstrate my taste and judgment here.

in case you were wondering, I’m aware my thumbs are weird looking.

I exchanged them for this.

I have no regrets.

I also swapped an extra set of the Left Behind books for the Chronicles of Narnia. In all, I got rid of about 30 books in favor of ones that are both excellent and accessible.  But don’t tell anyone, mmmkay?