I stayed well past the time I’m supposed to go home today, because, apparently, the church secretary is an honorary member of the trustees. The guy who changes the lightbulbs in our outside sign came by today moments before time for me to leave. He needed lightbulbs. They’re kept in a storage shed waaaaay out behind the church. I had to call someone to find out where. Then I walked through a lot of newly made mud to get to the shed. The lightbulbs were on the sort of shelf easily accessible to people around six feet tall and above. You know, like the member of the trustees whose job this is. The lightbulbs are about five feet long. I’m just not up for grabbing something that big high above my head.

There was a 12 foot ladder, which seemed a bit excessive for reaching a shelf. I grabbed an empty rubbermaid tub instead, flipped it, and climbed up. The plastic tub–which was from the dollar store and wasn’t nearly as sturdy as the real thing–slowly collapsed under my weight. It cracked seconds before flattening completely. Why didn’t hop off? Oh, I don’t know. Something to do with holding a box of twenty giant lightbulbs, I suspect.

When I put the bulbs back, I used an actual rubbermaid box for a step stool and restored my body image to its normal, nearly healthy levels.

Double sigh.