I have kicked the ass of Friday. I rearranged all the church furniture while middle aged men looked on and commented on my upper body strength, made a poster, created an attractive display of women’ hats (what? your job doesn’t include really weird shit?), drove home to pee because the church’s water is off, picked up and sorted mail, made a passive aggressive flier, finished a church calendar, updated the facebook page, shuffled the recycling bins so they don’t look quite so disgustingly full, and did a little light cleaning.

I made the poster using pastels. Pastels get your fingers all dirty. Since plumbers were here and the water was off, I couldn’t wash my hands. So, when I needed a clean finger or two for my drawing, I spit on my fingers and wiped them on my feet. Retrospectively, there are at least four less disgusting solutions to this problem. Three people have brought by job applications today. Two of them asked me how I’d hurt myself.

It’s the weekend. Let’s get to it.