You know what I do not get?  What I will never in one million years understand?  The appeal of the Christian p&w/rock band Third Day.  They’re awful.  And I’m going to go ahead and say that 92% of the people I know who love Jesus also love them.  I saw them live once, about 1998 or so, and they put on a lousy show.  I assume they weren’t drunk, so there’s really no excuse that I can think of for sucking quite that much.  Mac Powell, the band’s frontman, has a goatee.  Goatees are, generally speaking, not okay with me.  Oy.

The woman painting the foyer has some Third Day cranked up to a rather un-Mainline Protestant volume.  It’s killing me.

Anybody up for some CCM?  Stuff that I don’t think sucks? Sure you are.

Larry Norman, people.  Larry Fucking Norman.

I haven’t gone out looking for Christian music in a while.  So, as our boy Larry demonstrates, I’m not especially current.  But these guys at least date from this decade.   Also, they have a keytar.   You have to click through because EMI is a bastard.  Not a bastard?  The kid who moshed the toenail right off my toe at one of their shows.  I’m old.  I wore open toed wedges when I should’ve known better.

Of course, this fellow is ubiquitous–as well he should be, in my estimation.  I’m one of the most morbid people you know, so of course I love this.

Ignore the cheesy photography.  Ignore the fact that this is the fellow who wrote Awesome God.  In fact, try to block the memory of that song–and the “human video” your youth group performed to it when you were 14–altogether.  You’ll be happier.  I am hard-pressed to name a songwriter with a greater regard for language or one more elegant in religious expression.

Despite my great fondness for this song during early adolescence, it’s actually not all that great…

unless you consider its resemblance to this one. Then it’s hilarious.

This isn’t my favorite anything. But you should listen to it just the same.

Terrablarious!

So. Here’s my question to you, o gentle reader: What makes your list of the best CCM of all time ever?

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