If you’re on hold with the people who sell Sunday school curriculum, it is a good idea to listen to music of your own. Their hold music is tin-voiced children singing vaguely hiphop songs about Jesus and is unbearable. But you probably should try not to be singing along with your own music when your curriculum consultant comes back on line. Especially if you’re singing “hail satan” over and over.

In my defense, it’s not really a song about Satan.